If I am looking at your screen shot showing your structure panel properly...
Make both your included_head and your not_included_head a Level 1 numbered paragraph style without anything in the Number: field for the paragraph style.
Make both your included and not_included aLevel 2 numbered paragraph style with the desired number format in the Number" field for the paragraph style and the Restart Numbers at This Level After: set to Any Previous Level.
You should then end up with the numbering restarting. ID has always been this way. I would consider it a bug, Adobe evidently doesn't. BTW, I stopped at CS6, so in CC it may or may not be different. The screen shot below is what I end up with using those settings with my sample XML I made from your simple node sample above.
